Saturday, November 13, 2010

East of Eden

I feel as if I'm going through a quarter-life (wishful thinking?) crisis. All of sudden, my graduate program isn't as alluring as it has been and I'm reconsidering every decision I've made within the past year. These feelings have eclipsed in my wondering if maybe I should have pursued my love of literature with some sort of graduate program in english. I love reading - it has always been my greatest passion. Lately I can't seem to put books down; I'm even researching articles on literature, rather than focusing on my program, which will be finished in May.

Most recently, I finished reading East of Eden. There are no words for the experience I had reading it. It touched me, in a way a book has not in an incredibly long time. The characters, the plot line, the setting and dialogue - the manner in which Steinbeck presents his story is...well, indescribable. It has been a long time since I've devoured a book so fully and quickly, where the characters are people who are so dynamic and different, and the themes are so prevalent yet hidden. I just finished reading it and I am completely ready to re-start it.

Cal is my favorite character. Cal, or Cathy. Both are portrayed as, well I want to say dark-horse or underdog, because I honestly believe painting them as the antagonist would just be too easy. Granted, Cathy has demonstrated repeatedly her apparent lack of humanity and depraved nature in which she willingly (and happily?) destroys the lives of those who surround her. Her disregard for others emotions, and ultimately, lives, could be used as evidence that she is the story's obvious antagonist. And in some ways, I agree. But I also believe that in rare moments Steinbeck allows us to experience Cathy/Kate's vulnerabilities, which help us to understand, if not sympathize, with her plight. While outwardly she proves herself to be a heartless, emotionless woman, I believe that with further insight, and argument could be made for Cathy/Kate's misguided efforts at considering goodness, wanting to escape her life of corruptness. In my opinion, this is most greatly demonstrated in her final act of suicide.

Then, there is Cal. Books could be dedicated to the topic of Cal, who is constant flux between good and bad, between Aron, Adam, Cathy/Kate, and Charles. Caleb is the embodiment of each of the characters within the story. He is never at rest, because good and bad are constantly at war within him. Like Charles (which may most definitely be his father) Cal really only wants to be loved. He wants this from his father, who repeatedly shows his affection is more suited towards Aron, the more "lovable" son. Cal doesn't understand how to express his feelings and emotions, so instead of talking about his insecurities, he resorts to anger and cruelness to those who are most important to him. This is most aptly demonstrated with his relationship with Aron. Cal holds the upper hand in his relationship with Aron; he always apparently seems to have more insight, more information, and ultimately more control than Aron ever has. Cal repeatedly manipulates Aron to act as he says he should. The reader sees this as we first meet the brothers as boys, playing in the woods, and progressively through the novel, as Cal convinces Aron to graduate early and go to college, and ultimately, discloses that their mother is alive, pushing Aron to enlist in the army. Cal always has the upper hand, but this does not give him the advantage. Other characters can see through his facade, namely Lee (who I feel could be named as one of the novel's primary protagonists).

There are so many vantage points to absorb and critique East of Eden from. One question that I would love to pursue is the question of the narrator. Why is one of Sam Hamilton's grandsons the narrator? What is the significance of his being the narrator, and to what extent can we trust his insights as we really have to clue as to how he knows the information he relays to the reader? As a corollary to this, I think an examination of the Hamilton family as a whole would be interesting. There role is limited primarily to the first half of the novel and for all intensive purposes, does not truly intersect with the last section of the book. If this is so, why is the reader introduced so thoroughly to Sam and his family. Why are they important to the story, and what role do they implicitly play in the last portion of the book that may be understated, and hence, not as apparent to the reader to understand? It can be argued that Sam's most lasting presence and dialoge happened in the presence of Lee; their relationship is deep and rich and transgresses the traditional role of a white man and eastern "servant" in this time period? Therefore, an additional question related to this question could be, what is the role of Lee, and what importance does he play to the development and resolution of the novel?

There is so much more I want to get out, but I'm not quite ready to put it into words quite yet.

Right now, I'm watching East of Eden, and its absolutely terrible. The movie begins halfway through the novel, where Cal and Aron are already late teenagers, living with Adam in Salinas. The biggest oversight is the removal of Lee as a character, and replacing him with Abra as the voice of reality and reason. Lee really is one of the main characters within the book; the fact that they did not incorporate Lee really ruins the integrity of the movie (and also makes me question the time in which it was made; would it have been inappropriate to incorporate a Chinese man in an American movie at this time?) As a result, the dynamic of the movie is completely changed. Cal goes to Kate, not Lee, for the money to borrow. Cal and Abra begin an affair long before Aron goes off to war, and it appears that Aron not only did not go to college, but did not enlist in the army as a result of Cal. These changes alter the fundamental basis of East of Eden. I'll finish the movie, because I have to know how they portray the last scene, but in all honesty, this adaptation represents why book lovers should not see movies based on books - movies ruin the imaginary world we create through the words of another.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

The Cycle Has Continued...

So I haven't posted since September. Surprise, surprise. My first semester as a graduate student went pretty well. I rocked my courses, learned a lot, and really became inspired.

This semester started off a bit rocky, as I dropped a course and am no longer a full time student. So of course, this has interfered with my health insurance, so I am hoping and hoping that I do not injure myself...but as I am incredibly clumsy and accident-prone, only time will tell.

My classes are both really interesting. I am surprised by my motivation in my Legal Aspects of Higher Ed class - somehow, the textbook seems to pull me in. Then, the case studies in class just make everything I have read so applicable and useful. This is the first time in awhile that I actually feel like I am doing something with what I am learning.

My other class is Ideas of the University. This class isn't as applicable; it's more of a "philosophy of the university" sort of class. The readings, for the most part, have been interesting. I guess the class just provides alternate vantage points to examine higher education.

BUT my BIG NEWS is...(drum roll, please.....) I GOT AN INTERNSHIP!!!! I'm an advising intern at Edgewood college. It is, of course, unpaid, but I'm really enjoying it so far. This semester I am working in the nursing department, and I'll be advising, but also will be doing some institutional research and other odds and ends. Then, this summer, I'll move to be advising a more generalized student population. I'm so excited about this. I finally feel like I'm taking that step in the right direction towards beginning to build a future for myself in this field. So even with having to drop a course and such, the chance to have this opportunity just helps with dealing with everything else.

Other than that, just the usual. I'm going to have to find another job for this summer, which is going to make for a busy, busy summer. I'm going to take a class, intern (I'm thinking 3 days a week), probably babysit for EG one day a week, and then find another job. I'm thinking (hoping) for something like William Sonoma, so that I could get discounts on stuff, as I will be moving at the end of the summer (sigh, there is WAY too much going on with that). But who knows.

Anyways, I think that's about it for now.

Ciao!

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

T-60 min

I have class in an hour!! I am most definitely freaking out but can't wait to talk about it afterward!

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Books, Books and More Books!

So in order to pass the time, I've been immersing myself into the world of fiction. Re-reading all the Harry Potter and Twilight series was great and I've now moved on to classics...Animal Farm and Brave New World.

Animal Farm was amazing; it made me feel great to be so engaged in a text. The history behind the text was great; subtle communist undertones with images of Stalin and Trotsky fighting for power of the farm. The evolution of the text from a utopian society to a totalitarian dictatorship was incredibly well described and well written. It was really nice that Mike read it too; I enjoyed being able to discuss literature with him. It's nice that we can broaden our relationship and have more and more in common every day.

Brave New World was a good read too; not necessarily as interesting as Animal Farm but still provided an Orwell-like look at society. It kind of reminded me of 1984 in that a group of elites have altered society in order to create what they think is a "utopian" society. Somewhat predictably, those deemed "individuals" are forced to leave the utopian society and ultimately the "savage" man from the old world cannot acclimate himself to the new world. While the end of the book was great, the middle was still somewhat slow...

Anyways, today after I finished Brave New World, I started Reading Lolita in Tehran. So far it's great. It's a woman's memoir about reading literature with a select group of women in Iran. Lolita is the novel being focused on right now and the author describes it so passionately that I want to read it! So I guess that will be next on my list...


The First Day...Sort Of

Today is the first day of classes...well the first day of classes for everyone but me. It is incredibly bittersweet. Anna and Em were talking about classes and getting ready last night and I just felt so displaced. I know that I'm starting classes next week, but still, it's that feeling that I'm doing something different, that I'm working towards a new goal that not everyone can relate too. And I'm excited but yet a little nostalgic as well.

Today I also started my babysitting job. In some ways it makes me feel like a bum babysitting instead of working in some sort of education setting. But in the same way I'm hoping that this will be a nice way to acclimate my way to graduate school rather than pushing too much on myself at once. I also was looking for different organizations to volunteer with this year; the next step is to actually go out and participate with different groups instead of just thinking it would be a good opportunity.

Other than that, nothing too exciting is going on. I'm ready to be busy again...I know that I will be soon and then I'll begin to terribly miss my summer of wasted time. But until then I guess I'll just dream of filling my hours with things that seem productive. Ha!

Until next time...

Saturday, August 29, 2009

Getting Ready

Well the new semester is getting closer and is accompanied by so much excitement and angst that I'm starting to go a little crazy in anticipation! I bought most of my books last week and had orientation for my program. I've been full of nerves ever since. There were so many people at orientation and many of them were so much older than me - it's definitely going to be a new experience. I'm pretty intimidated by the course load and the proximity in which I'll be working to renowned professors. I've been trying so hard to hide from professors and attention for the past four years that now, all of a sudden, I'm getting pretty anxious about this whole experience.

But still, I'm so excited. I feel like all of a sudden I'll be working on something that will make a real difference in what I want to do. Undergrad to me was amazing, but in the same way it was so easy and filled with so many other experiences, like meeting people and working, that school wasn't always my first priority. But now...well now I'm going to have to focus and apply myself, but I'm hoping I'll be able to because I'll actually want too.

I'll be spending the rest of my weekend at home and heading back to school tomorrow night. Then next week will be dedicated to buying the rest of my books, starting my babysitting gig and grappling with the fact that my other friends have class as undergrads and I don't get to start until the week after. Confusing, but worth it, I'm sure.

Well I'm off to enjoy the rest of the weekend -- thanks for listening to my newfound angst!